Realizations
by Fictionetta
Summary: A short scene where Carrie vents to Saul based after season 3.


**My first story, so I hope you like it. There is swearing in it so I hope you don't mind.**

Saul could hear Carrie shouting at Quinn, he sighed and closed his eyes waiting for her to come in. He was only in Istanbul for a quick trip but it still felt like he was back in the Game. Carrie would often come in and vent her frustrations at him and he would politely listen and offer her guidance...in truth he missed his team.

SLAM the glass made a noise as Carrie slammed the door after entering his office, Saul looked at Carrie, her hands on hips pacing.

"I mean for F... Sake"

Not that Saul needed to ask what Carrie's issue was as she continued ranting.

"I had the F*ing contact in sight...until the stupid idiot got in the way"

Saul just raised an eyebrow at her.

Carrie ran her hands through her hair "I could have had him Saul, I spent WEEKS making this happen" she growled in frustration.

"Carrie, the mission was compromised...Quinn did his job"

Carrie paced "HIs JOB it's some matcho bulls*it...some prehistoric..."

"Enough! Carrie sit down"

Carrie stopped pacing glared at Saul for a moment and then sat down.

"Listen, the mission was compromised...you know that, if it wasn't for Quinn you wouldn't be sitting here...so show him a little f*ing respect!"

"Saul..."

"Not only that Carrie from what I've seen over the last few weeks you are on a self destruct mission, you constantly put yourself in the firing line and Quinn and his over macho bull*hit is the only one keeping you alive...keeping your daughter having a mother"

Carries eyes watered at the last part of the comment and looked away... "I am doing my job" she said quietly trying to convince herself more than anything else.

Saul seemed surprised he had expected an angry response but instead he felt the need to hug her, he didn't of course.

"Look I know you have had a lot of stuff to deal with, I know that better than most" he sighed "Just cut Quinn some slack, cut yourself some too...your doing a good job"

Carrie slumped a little thinking about what Saul had said, he was right of course. Quinn had saved her life more than a few times since she has been in Istanbul...she nodded at Saul and sadly smiled. She rose up from her seat and started to leave "I don't know why Quinn stays! The amount of sh*t I give him"

She started to open the door and Saul said quietly.

"Don't you now?" anyone could see Quinn was in love with Carrie, he had been for a long time. Quinn had even handed in his notice to Saul once, but Carrie had walked in the meeting with a problem and when Saul looked at his desk the letter of notice had gone and Quinn was going with Carrie to help her.

Carrie paused for a bit looking at him then laughed and shook her head "You have some pretty strange ideas Saul" she knew what Saul was hinting at, the rumor mill here had been going here for a while...but it was ridiculous.

But as Carrie walked down the corridor Saul's words span around in her mind, she automatically looked over at Quinn's desk and he looked up and caught her eye...as if he knew she was thinking of him "F*ck"

And at that point she knew Saul was right...deep down she knew it she just didn't want to deal with it or know how.

She couldn't deal with anyone right now so walked into the bathroom and washed her face trying to straighten herself out, she looked in the mirror...really looked at herself and the last few months, year even flashed through her mind. Scenes of Quinn helping her, of him holding her daughter, of her shouting at him and pushing him away and then finally of Brody's final minutes... she felt dizzy and held onto the sink. Of course he was always there and he cared for her maybe even loved her...but what hit her and made her feel sick with surprise was that somewhere inside of her she felt happy about it. She felt safe and happy around him and that thought made her feel weak and strong at the same time.

The reality was all the bulls*it she had put him through and he was still there he hadn't left her. That realization grew a warmth in her heart she hadn't fully recognized until now.

"Damn it" she rested her head against the mirror. This was totally messed up, Quinn was a solider, she was a soldier...they worked together, all these thoughts swirled around and she didn't know where she wanted them to end up. But one thing was certain no matter how much she wasn't certain about them, she didn't want to carry on taking her life, her frustrations out on him...she owed him that much.

Xxxxxx

Quinn looked up from his desk as Carrie approached and placed a cup of coffee on his desk and she held another in her hand "A peace offering" she said.

Quinn raised his eyebrows in surprise, he said nothing but raised the coffee and drank some.

Carrie smiled and walked away, she didn't see Quinn smile back.


End file.
